{"id":717,"date":"2026-08-12T23:37:34","date_gmt":"2026-08-12T23:37:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityflowjournal.com\/?p=717"},"modified":"2026-08-12T23:37:34","modified_gmt":"2026-08-12T23:37:34","slug":"we-need-to-talk-about-fight-club","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityflowjournal.com\/?p=717","title":{"rendered":"We need to talk about Fight Club"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Philadelphia, 2019. An Uber is hauling me to the nearest Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and I ask the driver to name the best parts of Philly.\u00a0 A twenty-something black guy, he says, \u201cI don\u2019t think there are any good parts.\u201d\u00a0 He clocks me in the rearview mirror and asks, \u201cAre you the writer?\u201d\u00a0 The young man pulls out his phone and hits a number, saying, \u201cYou have to talk to my mom. Her favorite movie is Fight Club<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 He hands the phone to me in the backseat.<\/p>\n

Read more Welcome to Fortress Iran<\/a><\/p>\n

In 2019, the film was already two decades old. This year, the book turns 30.<\/p>\n

In 1999 the head of publicity at Twentieth Century Fox had told the director, David Fincher, \u201cYou\u2019ve made a movie with so much male nudity that no man will want to see it, and so much blood that no woman will. You\u2019ve made a movie that\u2019s impossible to market.\u201d\u00a0 Yet here I am laughing away with a middle-aged mother and her son who both came to love the story.<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s because the story gave them permission to disregard all of the consumption and status static. \u201cYou are not your job.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYou are not your khakis.\u201d\u00a0 These were memes before memes, and they flew in the face of a million Gap commercials. Lines like \u201cMay I never be perfect and complete\u201d broke the stranglehold of demands the culture put on young people.<\/p>\n

Maybe \u201cself-improvement\u201d as dictated by well-meaning cookie-cutter guidance counselors and college advisors never was the answer. Maybe \u201cYou are not a beautiful and unique snowflake\u201d snapped readers out of the self-esteem messages they\u2019d been force fed all their lives. Maybe they saw how such constant reassurances kept them from moving forward, and how emotional handholding came to stink of a lifelong panacea. Maybe \u201cDeliver me from clever art\u201d saved people from drowning in the era\u2019s flood of David Letterman snark and irony and hinted that \u201cclever\u201d wasn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n

National Public Radio once hosted me on a panel discussion where black academics and female academics dismissed Fight Club<\/em> because it didn\u2019t directly address the lives of racial minorities and women. Yet here I was in a car listening to a mother and her son who loved the story.<\/p>\n

Another possibility? Fight Club<\/em> was one of the few stories that told young people they\u2019re mortal. You\u2019re going to die. And the story didn\u2019t just state that truth the way The Dead Poets Society<\/em> took a bunch of prep school students and showed them old photos and declared, \u201cThese boys are all now food for worms.\u201d No, Fight Club<\/em> dropped us into the support group world of the Aids era, an age of mass dying, and made that sadness the \u201cmeet cute\u201d of an old-school rom-com. The hero and heroine meet at the edge of an open grave, staring death in the face. Not since Harold and Maude had we seen Eros and Thanatos so romantically entwined.<\/p>\n

To put all of this in a larger context: way back in 1949, the mythologist Joseph Campbell had given us the concept of \u201cthe hero\u2019s journey\u201d, the blueprint for so many movies, including Star Wars<\/em>. Among Campbell\u2019s concepts was the \u201csecondary father\u201d, the coach or teacher or boss or drill sergeant. After the first father, who must love and nurture the child, the secondary father can more sternly mentor the child toward greatness. For an example of the secondary mother, just watch The Devil Wears Prada<\/em> and see how women fulfill the same role.<\/p>\n

So Campbell gave us Star Wars<\/em> and The Karate Kid<\/em>, and, in 1990, Robert Bly gave us Iron John<\/em>, the dry, sober seed for so much of the humorless men\u2019s movement. Yet by the mid Nineties, Bly had thrown up his hands in surrender. Men were unruly, as were people in general nowadays, so in 1996 Bly wrote The Sibling Society<\/em> to explain how all hierarchies of authority had broken down. No one stood above anyone else in the culture, and all teaching was now done peer-to-peer. Mind you, this is still a few years before social media, but Bly was already predicting \u201cinfluencers\u201d and \u201clooksmaxxing\u201d and the manosphere in general, where the flattened landscape of faceless \u201clikes\u201d does the teaching.<\/p>\n

The year 1996 was also when W.W. Norton published Fight Club<\/em>. It was the world of Maxim<\/em> and Loaded<\/em> magazines, football hooligans, Trainspotting<\/em> and Snatch<\/em>. So-called \u201clad culture\u201d. In her 1991 book Backlash<\/em>, Susan Faludi had described a male pushback against feminism, including a scene where she depicts Robert Bly as a cold tyrant, reinforcing traditional gender roles and abusing an elderly female acolyte of his. In 1996\u2019s Sibling Society<\/em>, Bly attacked Faludi\u2019s version of events, and a public pissing match was on.<\/p>\n

That was Nineties lad culture: the rowdy, moshing Backlash<\/em> world became the kind of playpen that doesn\u2019t want a stern secondary father. What the uncouth Sibling Society<\/em> needed was\u2026 a trickster. We needed a Loki or Coyote or Hermes or Puck or Pan. And not the androgynous Pan of Disney\u2019s Peter Pan<\/em>, or a Pan played by tiny Mary Martin, what we needed was a reckless, wild, Dionysian Pan who could scare the pants off of you if you ventured into the forest at nighttime.<\/p>\n

Enter Tyler Durden. What my Uber driver and his mom loved was Tyler and his messaging and the knight\u2019s errands of \u201chomework\u201d he assigned. Tyler was a buddy, not a father, and he acted on impulse. He spoke in memes, not the endless lectures of a Campbell or a Bly. Still, he nurtured without \u201cmothering\u201d, and he lived without the world\u2019s approval and endless self-censoring. Tyler\u2019s minions were the nameless \u201cspace monkeys\u201d who were tired of aimless lives as atomized self-loving snowflakes. They no longer wanted to each be \u201cbeautiful and unique\u201d. What they wanted was to be part of something.<\/p>\n

In the Uber, on my way to Alcoholics Anonymous, laughing with the driver and his mom, didn\u2019t I also want to be part of something? Clearly, drinking in my hotel room no longer worked. I wanted to surrender my will to a greater power.<\/p>\n

Often, people most love the aspects of a story they can\u2019t articulate. Years ago, for example, I asked the writer Ira Levin if his masterpiece Rosemary\u2019s Baby<\/em> wasn\u2019t actually a metaphor for the generation of infants born deformed by Thalidomide? Wasn\u2019t the horror people expressed in fact the horror they could not express over how the medical establishment had misled and mis-medicated so many trusting pregnant women? In the book, the baby is even described as having the classic features of a \u201cflid\u201d, as people shaped by Thalidomide often call themselves.<\/p>\n

Levin was cagey. How could he answer truthfully? And perhaps he didn\u2019t know what he\u2019d written until after it was in print; often the best writers don\u2019t. As Samuel Taylor Coleridge said, only a genius can combine the conscious and the subconscious. \u201cIn every work of art there is a reconcilement of the external with the internal\u2026 that is the genius in the man of genius.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Blame Jesus for Jason Arday<\/a><\/p>\n

Which brings us to the oldest trick in the book, so to speak. A trick American readers adore, but only if it can be reinvented. Let\u2019s call it the \u201cmartyr-murder-witness\u201d trick. Of three main characters, the most obedient must commit suicide, the most rebellious must be killed, and the witnessing character must reject both those options and leave the scene to begin a new life.\u00a0 Think of Myrtle Wilson in The Great Gatsby<\/em>, throwing herself in front of Gatsby\u2019s speeding car. Myrtle is Jennifer North in Valley of the Dolls<\/em> who overdoses, who is Billy Bibbit in One Flew Over the Cuckoo\u2019s Nest<\/em> who cuts his wrists, who is Melanie Wilkes in Gone with the Wind<\/em> who knows that birthing another child will kill her but gets pregnant anyway. The Good Boy or Girl always commits suicide. And that includes the doctor\u2019s obedient son in The Dead Poets Society<\/em> who shoots himself. Or the misled waif Terry Gionoffrio in Rosemary\u2019s Baby<\/em>, who leaps from a seventh-floor window.<\/p>\n

Americans recognize this pattern and love it.<\/p>\n

Immediately after the suicide, the most robust character is murdered. Sometimes, particularly when that character is female, she is banished, as Scarlett O\u2019Hara and Neely O\u2019Hara are banished in their stories, and the teacher played by Robin Williams is banished in Dead Poets<\/em>.\u00a0 However, in most cases, the rebel, be he Jay Gatsby or Randle Patrick McMurphy or Edward Hutchins \u2014 or Tyler Durden \u2014 is murdered.<\/p>\n

This leaves the witness to tell the tale. Nick Carraway hightails it back to the Midwest. Big Chief journeys back to his tribe. Rosemary Woodhouse embraces her strange-looking infant. For a heartbeat she weighs the idea of leaping from the window with the newborn, but finally surrenders herself to the cards she\u2019s been dealt.<\/p>\n

Whatever the case, Americans love the martyr-murder-witness formula, just so long as you tweak it to keep it fresh. And who can blame Americans? In a two-party political system, you\u2019re either slave or master, so you\u2019d better get accustomed to playing either. Those who can\u2019t adapt to swift changes in power, they either kill themselves or they are killed. The magic in Fight Club<\/em> was to distill this three-character formula down to a single character. The Good Boy narrator kills himself, thus murdering the Bad Boy, and leaving the fully integrated Witness.<\/p>\n

A reconcilement of the external with the internal. The genius in the man of genius.<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s that age-old formula \u2014 albeit tweaked \u2014 that\u2019s made the book and film a classic. Whatever the case, it was a slow climb to the pantheon. Of the original five thousand hardcovers printed in 1996, most hadn\u2019t sold by the time the film premiered in 1999. The film itself had a dismal theatrical run. Then 9\/11 happened, and the image of skyscrapers crumbling cut too close to the bone. All puckish pranking and horseplay withered under the watchful eye of the newly formed Department of Homeland Security. The transgressive story, be it Fight Club<\/em> or Trainspotting<\/em> or The Monkey Wrench Gang<\/em>, simply fell out of fashion.<\/p>\n

Not that Fight Club<\/em> resonated with everyone. On my first book tour in 1996, live on the radio, a male NPR host asked me, \u201cHaving written this book, Fight Club, what can you tell us about the state of the American woman in the world today?\u201d<\/p>\n

Color me flabbergasted. I was silent for an eternity in live radio time. What did I know about being female or being black?\u00a0 My goal had been to write about the common experience of all my friends who were navigating into adulthood without either secondary mothers or fathers. The goal of Fight Club<\/em> was never to depict an organization that perpetuated its own power. Instead, I wanted to show how this little machine could create stronger individuals before the machine itself imploded. If just one person remained, stronger, more free, more self-determined, that would be worth all the Sturm und Drang<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The book was always about helping the individual. The little machine of Project Mayhem would be the secondary father.<\/p>\n

In this world of constant poverty and addiction and injustice, to borrow a phrase, \u201cI don\u2019t think there are any good parts.\u201d<\/p>\n

But be that as it may, we can\u2019t surrender to hopelessness or lash out in rage. That night in 2019 there were the three of us, this mother, her son and I, connected by a story. Each of us was doing their best, and we all had an imaginary friend in the form of Tyler Durden.<\/p>\n

Maybe trickster Tyler is still around 30 years later to show us we always have options. If you\u2019re reading this, you are still not dead.<\/p>\n

Read more JK Rowling is reaping the Potter whirlwind<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Philadelphia, 2019. 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