{"id":195,"date":"2026-06-03T23:11:22","date_gmt":"2026-06-03T23:11:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cityflowjournal.com\/?p=195"},"modified":"2026-06-03T23:11:22","modified_gmt":"2026-06-03T23:11:22","slug":"make-soho-seedy-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cityflowjournal.com\/?p=195","title":{"rendered":"Make Soho seedy again"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Maybe, it\u2019s because I live in the very eye of the storm that I haven\u2019t been noticing, until reading about it in the papers, that Soho\u2019s business owners are at war with the Soho Society, a residents\u2019 group that does what any good residents\u2019 group should do, namely looks after the interests of residents. Listen to the business owners and the Soho Society is a bunch of aging killjoys bent on squeezing the vitality out of Soho. It\u2019s my view \u2014 and I speak as an aging killjoy myself \u2014 that if anything is squeezing the vitality out of Soho, it\u2019s the cream-cake and bubble-tea shops which together outnumber the good old strip-joints by about twenty to one and the skateboard apparel outlets which attract queues of underage trainer-wearers on what are known in the business as \u201cdrop days\u201d. Once you could only enter Soho if you loped in wearing built-up brothel-creepers. The advent of the \u201cdrop-day\u201d trainer tells you all you need to know about how low Soho has sunk.<\/p>\n

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One of the Soho Society\u2019s first concerns is the level of noise to which residents are subjected and will be subjected to still further if all the outstanding planning permissions are granted.\u00a0I have had, and lost, a few fights with the planning and licensing arms of Westminster council on my own account, having failed to convince them that another all-night rooftop bar 20-feet from my bedroom will have an adverse impact on my sleep.\u00a0\u201cWhat you fail to grasp,\u201d I try to explain, \u201cis that rooftop drinking is noisier than any other sort.\u00a0The twin exhilarations of being close to the moon and keeping\u00a0other\u00a0people awake will turn the most sullen and taciturn street-level drinker into a howler and screamer whose every laugh lands on your pillow, still sticky with craft beer and spittle.\u201d\u00a0They see me for what I am.\u00a0An aging killjoy who shouldn\u2019t be living in Soho at all if he cares about what lands on his pillow.<\/p>\n

That I shouldn\u2019t be here is a slur I find more than a little hurtful. I was a Soho aficionado long before many of those who see it only as a business opportunity had even started their Diplomas in Management and Profiteering. I came here in my brothel-creepers \u2014 I\u2019m not saying where I crept I them \u2014 as a hopeful lad, not knowing if I had the courage to avail myself of all Soho had to offer, but in a state of heated curiosity \u2014 a scholar of hedonism and sensuality with a notebook in my hand \u2014 eager to understand its allure, and that allure had nothing to do with noise. If not exactly silent, Soho in those days was broody with the quiet of anticipation. You didn\u2019t shout what you wanted. Your being here was a secret. You frequented empty alleyways. When you looked up to the solitary red light burning in a window, you didn\u2019t yell what was on your mind. You didn\u2019t\u00a0know<\/em>\u00a0what was on your mind. It would reveal itself to you in good time, in silent nods and hushed whispers above which you could hear your every heartbeat, even those your heart missed. Be still, be still, you told yourself.<\/p>\n

We have lost the clandestine arts. We get our idea of sex from film and television where love-makers imitate\u00a0either\u00a0the Malayan jungle or Jeremy Clarkson\u2019s farm, screeching, wailing, snuffling.\u00a0Orgasm was once an occasional secret shared by two.\u00a0A small confidential triumph when attained.\u00a0It is now proclaimed democratically on Dolby sound from any of the rooftop bars the council has given another license to. How else do we know we\u2019re having a good time unless we shout about it? The word we once found too gross to use and were never sure how to spell has grown commonplace.\u00a0The whole world c***s and wants you to know about it.<\/p>\n

Pre-sex, unless it\u2019s post-sex, unless it\u00a0IS<\/em>\u00a0sex, the drinkers of all genders take to the self-pedaling bars, drunk on their own hilarity. They aren\u2019t having a good time.\u00a0If they were having a good time they would be savoring it more stealthily, letting a small light shine from eyes that shyly meet, communicating soft secrets through the darkest velvet. What we have instead is blatantly obedient, ersatz merriment.\u00a0Simon says get bladdered. Simon says scream. Simon says guffaw.\u00a0Howard says shut-the-f-up.<\/p>\n

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The hen-nighters have taken to the discotheque tuk-tuks, singing Kylie favorites. I have a soft spot for Kylie. I was once made honorary Australian of the year at a do where she was voted real Australian of the year. After I told how I had loved being called a bastard by Australians in my years in Sydney she leaned across the dinner table, parted the artificial vegetation and said, \u201cYou bastard, Jacobson.\u201d It\u2019s hard to forget a moment like that. But I am not obliged to abandon what I believe for nostalgia\u2019s sake. Please no more tuk-tuks, no matter what Australiana the piss-pot passengers are belting out.<\/p>\n

After midnight the cars engineered to sound like tank divisions take to Soho\u2019s Streets. Exhausts go off like rifle shots. When a door is closed you think a skyscraper has been hit by a missile. Some of them are still blowing off their exhausts in the early morning. On days I haven\u2019t slept at all, I get up and run after them. \u201cI hope you crash, you infantilized moron!\u201d I shout and look to other fraught pedestrians for support. I get none. Since I am on my own, I act alone, running down the middle of Wardour Street shaking my first. Two motorbikes, both defying the one-way system, converge on me. They too have been souped up in hell to sound like the annihilation of the world.<\/p>\n

So, is this the original raucous Soho which the business owners demand the Soho Society leave alone? They make an obvious and fundamental error. They think a racket is synonymous with authenticity. They think a love of life can be measured in decibels. Let me tell them what I want, and it isn\u2019t staid sobriety. I want fewer shops selling sneakers, less bubble tea, no more fake jollity imported for the weekend from heartless towns in the West Midlands. I have lived here for 25 years and watched the life drain out of what was once gloriously louche and seedy. I\u2019d like Francis Bacon back. And Brendan Behan. But the artists and writers have disappeared, as have their studios and attics. Words have abandoned the streets to grunts. The brothel-creepers languish unwanted on eBay. That\u2019s what\u2019s really gone wrong \u2014 Soho is in danger of becoming like everywhere else.<\/p>\n

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Maybe, it\u2019s because I live in the very eye of the storm that I haven\u2019t been noticing, until reading about it in the papers, that Soho\u2019s business owners are at war with the Soho Society, a residents\u2019 group that does what any good residents\u2019 group should do, namely looks after the interests of residents. Listen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":194,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-london"],"yoast_head":"\nMake Soho seedy again - \u0421ity Flow Journal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cityflowjournal.com\/?p=195\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Make Soho seedy again - \u0421ity Flow Journal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Maybe, it\u2019s because I live in the very eye of the storm that I haven\u2019t been noticing, until reading about it in the papers, that Soho\u2019s business owners are at war with the Soho Society, a residents\u2019 group that does what any good residents\u2019 group should do, namely looks after the interests of residents. 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